Why strength, over-functioning, and emotional labor quietly become the heaviest load.
Listen on Apple Podcast | Listen on Spotify
Episode Overview
There is a role many school leaders step into long before they ever receive a title.
It’s the role of the strong one.
The steady one.
The one who handles it.
In this episode, Chanie explores the hidden cost of being the strong leader—the invisible emotional weight carried by school owners and leaders who learned early that being useful meant being safe, valued, and connected.
This conversation isn’t about burnout or failure. It’s about survival adaptations that once protected you, but may now be quietly costing you rest, connection, and being met as a human.
You’ll hear:
- Why over-functioning is not a personality trait—but a learned survival strategy
- How leadership responsibility slowly becomes identity
- The invisible emotional labor school leaders carry that never shows up on an org chart
- The difference between being essential and being chosen
- Why strong leaders are often admired—but rarely supported
- Gentle questions to help you notice where you’re still earning safety through giving
This episode is not a lesson and not a call to action.
It’s a place to sit.
A place to be honest.
A place to let something unnamed finally have language.
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Resource Mentioned
If parts of this conversation feel tender or emotional, that’s not a problem to solve. That’s information. And you don’t need to do anything with it right now.
If you want language for what you’re already carrying, Chapter One of Chanie’s upcoming book, This Can’t Be Normal, is available to read.
Download Chapter One: thiscantbenormal.com
About Chanie Wilschanski & Schools of Excellence
Chanie Wilschanski is the founder of Schools of Excellence and a sought-after mentor for early childhood and private school leaders. Her work is grounded in building operational systems, emotionally intelligent leadership, and sustainable rhythms for long-term success. Through her podcast, trainings, and membership program, Chanie helps private school and ECE leaders lead with confidence, build high-functioning teams, and step into their full leadership potential—without burnout or chaos.
If this episode resonated with you, share it with another school leader ready to move beyond survival mode and into intentional, systems-driven leadership.
